The Henson Journals

[37]

Saturday, December 22nd, 1928.

Durham Castle – Ordination Retreat

How strange are the courses of the world! A force bears on men, and carries them to other destinations than they would have desired, or intended, or even thought possible. Here am I, the honestest man in the world, however faulty in other respects, who seem destined, like the Sicambrian, to burn what I have adored, & adore what I have burned. Is it that my conduct always represents a revolt against an immediate & unpalatable policy, which, when it ceases to prevail, ceases also to be odious? Is it a Quixotic sincerity which compels me to blurt out in unmistakable decisiveness the sentiments which at the moment reign in my mind? Is it, as my enemies affirm, a demonical fondness for the gaudia certaminis [the joy of struggle]? Or is a certain fatal Cassandra–like clearness of vision which makes me see farther ahead than my fellows? Or, finally, do all these blend in a temperament, at once loyal and reckless, brave and yielding, far–seeing and absorbed in immediate situations, an amalgam of all that is most estimable with all that is least trustworthy?

[38]

I celebrated the Holy Communion in the Chapel at 8 a.m. We numbered 16 communicants in all. One of the candidates, a wholesome–looking youth, asked that he might make his Confession: and I consented to receive it taking pains, however, to point out to him that I did not expect from him a meticulous survey of his whole life from infancy, but an acknowledgement of whatever really troubled his conscience. Here me judice lies the difference between the Roman and the Anglican doctrine about Confession. The one insists on the necessity of private confession as the Divinely–appointed condition of the forgiveness of post–baptismal "mortal" sin: the other, presents private confession as the mercifully granted means by which a troubled conscience may be relieved. The first must be habitual: the last can hardly be other than occasional. The one can hardly ever be really satisfactory, for "who can tell how of the offendeth"? the other must needs be comforting, since the action itself carries the assurance of relief.

[39]

Under the heading "Authority in the Church" the Times publishes two hostile letters, the one by Bethune–Baker, the other by Lord Parmoor. The first is expressed with rather unusual vehemence, & might almost merit the adjectives, rude, extravagant, and irrelevant. He attacks what he calls "the New Episcopalianism", suggests a "purge" of some of the present bishops who "might be restored to the status of general esteem and affection which they once enjoyed", has a vigorous thrust at the new Archbishop, and ends on a strident note. The last is [oily and] characteristic of the writer.

I don't think either of these letters calls for any reply from me: and, in any case, the nearness of the Christmas Festival would make an answer unadvisable, for, however black our hearts may be with resentment, it is thought indispensable at this Season to clothe our lips in charity, and live on a Christmas–card level!

[40]

The two addresses, given by the Vicar of Muggleswick to the candidates, have been a review of pastoral work based on personal experience of 30 years ago. Apart from a certain dislike of the inevitable egotism, which arouses incredulity, but which was, in the circumstances, probably unavoidable, the addresses were excellent enough: but were they adequately relevant to the actual conditions under which these young men will have to work? The interval of 30 years, which severs the Vicar from his experience, is equivalent to an interval of centuries, or rather it is the case that we come into a new world in which the precedents of the past (i.e. all precedents more than 14 years old) are useless for our guidance.

The present generation improvises its own working morality, & dispenses with a Moral Law. It is generally casting aside all religious profession, condoning the survival of the Church on account of its historic interest & aesthetic possibilities: but it believes nothing, and owns no religious obligations. Where, in such a world, does the ordained ministry "come in"?

[41]

[struck through] Petrie came to see me with reference to my proposal to nominate him to Holy Trinity, Stockton. He finally decided to accept nomination, though he is plainly apprehensive of difficulty over Evening Communion! Then, I had some speech with Wynne–Willson, who has received cheering assurances from some osteopathic quack, & is accordingly radiant![end] I attended Evensong in the Cathedral, and then did the legal business with the candidates in the Chapter House. After which we all tea with Canon & Mrs Dawson–Walker. I attended the meeting of the Barrington Trustees at 6 p.m: & then returned to the Castle for dinner. After dinner I wrote to William before descending to the Chapel for Compline. The Bishop of Jarrow, Dawson Walker, Moulsdale, Culley, Archdeacon Cornwall, & Lionel were present at Compline besides the 12 candidates, & heard my charge. And afterwards I heard a candidate's confession. [end]

---