The Henson Journals

[83]

11th Sunday after Trinity, August 15th, 1918 [sic] ^1920^.

How hard it is to realize the greater factors of life! The trivial arrangements for my Swedish tour loom far more largely in my view, occupy a far larger part of my thought, and interest me far more than the tremendous news of yesterday. And is the same with respect to the things of the spirit. The bothering questions of getting into Durham, the squalid anxieties as to ways & means, even the details of ceremonial crowd out the really solemn facts of immense new responsibilities, of the terrific chasm between my personal inadequacy and the position to which I have been called, of the continuing paradox of my inner life. These things, on any reasonable valuation of intrinsic important, ought to absorb me, not those other trifles. "Seek ye first His Kingdom & His righteousness, & all these things shall be added unto you." If one could really take that measurement of one's life, and live in the power of that assurance, how different would one be!

I went to S. Nicholas, and celebrated the Holy Communion. Wynne Willson had evidently issued a whip to the recently confirmed communicants, for there was a considerable muster. Everything was very devout and moving. The Epistle ‒ 1. Cor: xv. 1ff ‒ was curiously accordant with my mood — at once self–defending & self–accused. "For I am the least of the Apostles, that am not meet to be called an Apostle, because I persecuted the Church of God. But by the Grace of God I am what I am: & His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain: but I laboured more abundantly than they all; yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me." How far can I rightly make such language my own?

[84]

[After breakfast D. Patterson with his two boys Lloyd & Adrian came to see me. I gave him a signed photograph. Then I wrote some purely personal letters. 1) to my brother Aubrey, 2) to Olive Pollok–Morris, 3) to Gilbert Simpson, 4) to George Nimmins.

I read "The Problem of Reunion" by Leslie J. Walker S.J., M.A. late senior chaplain to the 19th division, B.E.F, sometime Professor of Philosophy at Stonyhurst College. The author, as a Papist, conceives of ultimate reunion as an acceptance of the Papal claim, but, as serviceable to that end, he urges the union of English–speaking Christianity. His description of the Anglican position is acute, & mainly sound. The truth is that that position can only be maintained in the teeth of history & the Anglican standards. The puzzling thing is that it is thus maintained, & by an increasing number of Anglicans.

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