The Henson Journals

[1]

18th Sunday after Trinity, October 10th, 1909.

"Why art thou so full of heaviness, O my soul: and why art thou so disquieted within me? Put thy trust in God: for I will yet give him thanks for the help of his countenance".

The depression of the Saints at least carries this comfort that one has that link with them, if no other. In these states of mental & moral collapse every trifle becomes transmuted into a sinister token or omen of disaster. Thus the circumstance that we numbered but 13 at Holy Communion thrust across my unhappy mind the uncomfortable thought of betrayal. 'Which then is the traitor?' was the question which intruded itself as I looked over the kneeling line of communicants! Truly one's severest censor is within one's self.

There was a very large congregation at Mattins, including the Duke & Duchess of Buccleugh, Sir George & Lady Bartley, Capt. Butler, & one or two lingering M.Ps [sic]. I preached on the episode recorded in the first lesson – Jehoiakim cutting the roll. Compston sang the service quite sufficiently well. We had Purcell's 'Bells' anthem. Mainly this was a comforting service.

Balfour Wilson came to lunch. He seems very well now. Also Watson, whom I have not seen for months. Both went to St Margaret's first. Gilbert came with me in the afternoon to the Leysian Mission, where I addressed a large assembly of men.

[2]

At Evensong there was another large congregation. I was unable to finish my sermon, for my voice suddenly cracked, & I could not recover it! This was a ludicrous & humiliating performance, but the congregation behaved beautifully.

Custard and his wife came in to supper.

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