The Henson Journals

[410]

Monday, November 12th, 1900.

As the news of my approaching departure from the Hospital circulates, the vultures of ambition scent the carcase of 'preferment'. The post brought me a long letter from the Archdeacon suggesting that the Hospital would just suit his case. Bayne of Little Ilford came to see me during the morning, and silently indicated an impression that he could fitly succeed me here. Trist came in the afternoon to ask my advice in the character of an avowed expectant. This eagerness is rather nauseous.

I received a letter from Mr Mattinson, one of the Benchers of Gray's Inn, sounding me about the Preachership there, vacant thro' Dr Lupton's infirmity. A few weeks ago I should have clutched at it: now I neither need nor care for it. May God help me to use rightly His new gift of prosperity! I dread this exhilaration & uplifting of heart: what room is there for such sentiment in my present state? I have received an utterly underserved promotion, & am called to a work quite beyond my powers. Have mercy on me, O God, & enable what Thou dost demand.

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