The Henson Journals
Sun 15 June 1930
Volume 50, Pages 75 to 76
[75]
Trinity, Sunday, June 15th, 1930.
Forty three years ago I was ordained in the parish church of Cuddesdon. How ignorant of the world I was then! How ignorant of Christianity! How ignorant of myself! I cannot recall with any distinctness the state of my mind, save that then as ever since, it was divided and distracted. So far as I had any scheme of clerical life, it lay in the direction of asceticism, for, though I was then living in All Souls, where the course of life was assuredly not ascetic, my heart was in the East End, & I dreamed of an apostolate among the poor. I thought that I might be a preacher, for preaching seemed then the work for which my natural gifts pointed. But even then I cherished a curious dislike and suspicion of preachers, and shrank from the ignominious fame of the "popular preacher". There was in me then, as now, a fastidious literary sense, which made mere verbiage offensive: &, though I had when young a considerable facility of speech, I had also another quality which rarely goes with that, a relentless self–criticism which made every approach to mere rhodomontade apparent and abominable. Unhappily for myself I had a rare gift of sarcastic speech.
[76]
Bishop Wood and I motored into Durham for the Ordination in the Cathedral. Everything was very solemn & comforting in the service. The Bishop preached a dull, little commonplace sermon, on which, however, it was apparent that he had bestowed considerable pains. It was a painful exhibition of ecclesiastical weakness that no more than 4 candidates should have been presented for Ordination.
After service we lunched with the Dean, and returned to Auckland in time for the Confirmation Service in the Chapel. There were [symbol] about 50 candidates, among whom was Ralph Rumney, the Methodist preacher whom I have accepted for Ordination in September. I gave him a copy of "Church & Parson in England".
I wrote to William. In his last letter for the first time he mentions fever, but only 'a slight touch'. He has now been several years in South Africa, and never been ill.
I wrote to Bishop Wood thanking him for his help at the Ordination, &sending him (as I provided) a copy of "Church & Parson in England".