The Henson Journals

[192]

10th Sunday after Trinity, August 12th, 1928.

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A still rather close morning presaging heat. How far ought one's moods to determine one's religious practice? If one's nerves are out of order, and one's temper uncertain, ought these circumstances of physical & mental discomfort to prohibit one's reception of the Blessed Sacrament? What times & measures of penitence must suffice to 'purge the record'? The Papist has his answer pat enough. There is the Priest, get to the Confessional box and be shriven. But the intervention of this machinery seems almost frivolous. There is a more authoritative & better informed judge within one's own breast. "Beloved, if our heart condemns us not, then have we boldness toward God, but if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, & knoweth all things". Are we not in the matters of the spirit too much dominated by our poor terrestrial notions of time & place? Penitence is keen on the morrow of transgression, but wait a few days & the pleas of a self–justifying casuistry make themselves heard. "Familiarity breeds contempt' here also, & the conscience acquiesces easily enough in habitual transgressions. Who can tell how oft he offendeth? O cleanse thou me from my secret faults. Keep Thy servant also from presumptuous sins lest they get the dominion over me.

[193] [symbol]

Ella and I went to church, & received the Holy Communion. There were more than a score of communicants, among whom was included a party of "Girl Guides" from an adjoining camp. The celebrant was an old clergyman, presumably Irish, who had a booming clerical voice, & took the "north end". But, none the less, he was both reverent & intelligible.

Then I wrote to William, addressing the letter again to Johannesburg, since he has given no other address. Also I wrote to Arthur, and to Lord Scarborough, sending them copies of the Bishoprick.

Ella has developed a truly alarming zeal for what she is pleased to call her "Protestant convictions", which appear to be compounded of some inherited preferences for "Low" Church practices and a fanatical fear of Disestablishment. She is as persistent as she is absurd, & I get completely exhausted after these 'arguments'. To have this continuing domestic discord alongside of the very difficult public conflict is almost too much even for me. I have no doubt that the influence of the parsons' wives will be one of the most embarrassing factors in the troubled time that lies in front of us. They are quite incapable of understanding what is meant by a principle, & of course, their knowledge of the actual situation is altogether inadequate for any reasonable discussion of it.