The Henson Journals

[128]

Trinity Sunday, June 12th, 1927.

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Ordination to the Christian Ministry is a formidable venture in this year of grace 1927, and ordination to the Ministry of the Church of England might well appear little other than a forlorn hope. It was not so in 1887, when I was ordained at Cuddesdon. Then, the recent defeat of Disestablishment, and the return of the Unionist Party to power, seemed to guarantee stability for the Church of England. In Oxford the neo–Tractarians, who were associated then rather with an acceptance of Biblical Criticism than with a puerile "Ritualism", were very successful & confident. Ordination was almost fashionable in the University, so that the arid regime of negative "Liberalism" which had prevailed since the defeat of the Tractarian Movement seemed to be definitely passing away. Pusey had been replaced by Driver: Heurtley by Sanday: Liddon by Gore. We were all very full of hope and confidence: & the Bitter Cry of Outcast London moved us as with a Crusader's Summons.

[129] [symbol]

Westcott and Hort were thought to have annihilated the destructive Germans: and Lighfoot's massive erudition had re–created our Apostolic Bases. The visionary theology of Westcott had linked "social reform" and "sacramentalism": & the sophistical blend had its prophet in Scott–Holland. The 'Christian Social Union' was in the vigour of its first enthusiasm, and was vehemently championed by Rashdall and Carter. I was only half persuaded by the orthodoxy, & wholly estranged from the "socialism" of the time, though I shared to the full the passion for the Poor, and accepted the Headship of the Oxford House in a burst of disinterested & rather unreflecting altruism. But I knew little of the world, and less of myself. The years that have elapsed have been filled with humiliating discoveries about both. Now after 40 years, I cannot decide whether I did rightly in being Ordained, or whether I made the cardinal blunder of my life.

[130] [symbol]

The ordination in the Cathedral moved me deeply. The congregation was larger than usual: the Cathedral looked its best in the bright sunlight: the music was excellent: and, best of all, the candidates were very serious& (apparently) devoted. Then I moved all the time in a cloud of reminiscence, half penitential, half exalting. If anyone had told me on June 5th 1887, that I, who was kneeling to be ordained in Cuddesdon Church, should myself be Ordaining in Durham Cathedral on June 12th 1927, I should have thought the prophecy extravagant to the point of grotesqueness. So far, that after 40 years of risks, failures, & blunders, I should be acting so in such a place, is matter for wonder & thankfulness. But then immediately falls the chilling shadow of what I might have been, & have failed to be: and memory becomes a scourge. After the service we returned to Auckland. James came in with us to the service, and received the Holy Communion. I wanted him to witness an Ordination in the Cathedral before leaving my service.

[131]

Ella and I left the Castle about 3.30 p.m., and motored via Tow Law and Riding Mill to Hexham, where we stayed with Ernest's Brother, Captain Henson. I preached in the Priory Church at Evensong to a considerable, but not a crowded, congregation. The five Churchwardens, of whom mine host was one, preceded me to the foot of the steps which lead down into the Church, and which have survived in Hexham, where they form a notable feature. I repeated the sermon which I preached at Stockton on May 22nd, and the congregation listened very attentively, but whether they were edified I have my doubts. The Vicar Mr Farquhar, and his wife, came to supper. The latter said that Sir Henry Craik was her uncle. I cannot say that I was well impressed by the Vicar, who was extremely polite, indeed almost servile in his demeanour towards me.

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