The Henson Journals

[102]

Tuesday, July 8th, 1924.

A year ago on this day Marion died. It is a solemn and sorrowful memory which, whenever I recall it, casts a profound shadow on my mind. Goodness, extraordinary unselfishness, an immense power of affection, quiet, unceasing, unregarded service of others, and withal great force of character, a dauntless courage, and a practical ability which, on a larger scale, would have won a wide renown – all these amiable & precious powers of character were certainly hers, and yet her career, "cribbed, cabined, & confined" within the narrowest confines of domesticity, never emerged into notice, & finally went out in pain and gloom. What are these chattering, pushing, self–advertising women whom I see, and sometimes meet, in the Society of London to that brave little woman, whom none heeded, & everybody leaned on? Her life was pathetically unrelieved by any pleasure: such happiness as was hers drew from another world than this. When she died, one of the governing motives, and, perhaps, the best, of my own life, perished. Carissima, to whom she sacrificed herself, still lingers, and, in caring for her, I am placing a wreath on Marion's grave. "Verily, Thou art a God that hidest Thyself", we can say with S. Paul. "Now we see in a glass darkly". He wd add 'but then face to face".

[103]

I sate in the Assembly all the morning: lunched at the Club: returned to the Assembly, & interviewed an Ordination candidate, young Llewelyn: then I went to the House of Lords, & attended the final stage of the debate on the Bishop of Oxford's Bill. I spoke for about 15 minutes, and was well received. The House was something more than sympathetic, and I received many congratulations. The case for the Bill was "wound up" by the Bishop of St Alban's, whose speech was ineffective. He had a bad case, a bad delivery, and a bad, i.e. a hostile, audience. The division was 166 to 50 against the Bill. I dined in Park Lane, where Lord Islington was the only other guest. He was formerly Governor of New Zealand. I asked him about the Maoris: he said that they were certainly dying out. There were but few Maoris left, the most part being now half–breeds.

Yesterday, I visited a most interesting foundation in Chichester – a Franciscan Church with almshouses attached. Then we all returned to London. I lunched at the Athenaeum, & dined with Lady Struthers. I found myself seated between two of the silliest women of my acquaintance – mine hostess and Lady Askwith. I dropped Ella at 82 Eccleston Square, & went myself to Park Lane.

[104] [symbol]

What a vain fool I am! The fact that my speech last night pleased the peers gives me pleasure, yet there are abundant reasons why it should give me pain, For not only does it widen the gulf between me and the religious world", but also, it brings me into alliance with the sinister crowd which supports "the Trade". Nor may I deceive myself as to the value of the approbation I received. The majority of the Peers was on my side, and it cost them nothing to approve a speech which stated their own case. Still it did imply some measure of appreciation that when Lord Terrington rose with me, the Peers called for "the Bishop of Durham". But, even if there were any reason for self–gratulation – & there is really none – what good is there in my gaining a position in the House of Lords? I cannot "follow it up", nor, probably, would it be worth while to do so, if I could: for I am tied & bound to the system of the Church of England, & that system, as it is now being shaped, gives no place to episcopal activity in Parliament. "Blessing hassocks" is the rôle which an English Bishop is expected to play, & is truly the only rôle which most English Bishops desire to play, or are capable of playing. And then, I am passed sixty, & can have no future.

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