The Henson Journals

[163]

Wednesday, September 11th, 1918.

1500th day

This is poor Jennie's birthday. Was there ever a life more given to others, and more empty of every self–indulgence? It is 22 years since she died, and I feel still the pang of a grief which was half resentment. That, and the death of my poor little infant, perished ere it lived, have left indelible scars of sorrow and rage on my heart. I cannot get over these tragedies. They seem to focus the misery of the world. How different might my life have been if the child had lived! Now I must needs live "from hand to mouth".

I breakfasted pleasantly in the Club with Newbolt, and then attended the meeting of the Committee at Westminster. We finished the business by lunch–time. I lunched at the Athenaeum with Amery & Rashdall, and then had my hair cut. After this, I walked to Mr Bull's bookshop, & brought a few books. The book–man was a Conscientious objector. He professed much regard & even admiration for me, & I think the poor fool may have been sincere. "When I think of you, Sir: I always picture all things peaceful & beautiful". This to the most cynical & battered old gladiator in the Church!! I dined in the Club with W. P. Ker. He is, indeed, the best of men, & the truest of friends – pure gold. Oman & Newbolt were at the next table, good men both. Ker walked with me as far as the corner of Suffolk Street. The sky was brilliant with search lights.

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