The Henson Journals

[38]

Trinity Sunday May 26th, 1918.

1392nd day

After thirty–one years of ministry, I find myself a Bishop, setting about a Bishop's work. That fact alone moves in my mind distinct yet not unrelated trains of thought, and provokes a rush of mingled reminiscence. Before all else, I reflect on the infinite goodness & long sufferance of Almighty God. Why should He have borne with my waywardness and manifold sin all through these years? None but myself even guesses at the magnitude of my spiritual failure. "O God, there is mercy with Thee, therefore shalt Thou be feared". Then irrepressibly rises the thought of a special Purpose laid upon me, and giving the Key to this problem of Divine Patience. Why have I been spared, restored, re–commissioned, placed in the seat of government? It can be for no merely private reason, nor yet can it be explained on normal lines of professionalism. It must mean that God is leading me forward on a venture of His own, & charging me with a special task. But here as irrepressibly rises the thought of inadequacy, of personal unworthiness, even of a paralyzing lack of moral power. "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord". I desire beyond everything else that I may be inwardly prepared for the issue which is to disclose the Divine Intention in my life, & bring me to the supreme test. "Show Thou me the Way that I should walk in, for I lift up my soul unto Thee". "Keep Thy servant also from presumptuous sins lest they get the dominion over me; so shall I be undefiled, and innocent from the great offence".

[39]

I celebrated ^in^ the Cathedral at 8.15 a.m. The two archdeacons were present. Then I went to the Palace, & spent the morning in writing letters, & preparing notes for my functions later in the day. After lunch we motored to Leominster, where I confirmed 75 persons in the glorious Priory church. There was a large congregation beside the candidates. After the service we all had tea in the schoolroom, & then returned to Hereford.

I spoke to Nelson about the scheme for uniting Stoke Prior & Humber. He seems very determined not to surrender the patronage of the former. I preached in S. James's Church, Hereford, at Evensong. This and S. Peter's are in the gift of the Simeon's Trustees (Simeon & Simon are so near in sound, that a Simeonite appointment always suggests a Simoniacal transaction!). The Vicar, Rev. F. J. Lansdell, is said not to "get on" with his parishioners who are mainly artisans. He reads the prayers in a mouthing unctuous fashion which was perhaps appreciated by a former generation, but is now either tiresome or ludicrous or both! I preached from notes. Extemporaneous preaching is very odious to me, but appears to be almost unavoidable in these parishes. We walked home by the river bank. The stream is full and rapid. In S t James' parish there are about 3500 people. The number of Easter communicants was no more than 140. That is just one tenth of the married residents. It is hardly more than one twentieth of the possible communicants. Yet the parson manifested no sign of shame or distress!

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