The Henson Journals

[29]

22nd Sunday after Trinity, November 4th, 1917.

1189th day

The refusals, as well as the offers, of experience must be, if we regard our lives religiously, the leadings of God, and as truly to be reckoned the answer to our prayers for guidance. If, indeed, they be not so easily recognized as such, it is surely because into the new chances of life there has entered, more or less unconsciously, an element of desire on our own part. We have grown weary of the familiar: we stretch out to the unknown. We would escape from our failures and perplexities. There is, perhaps, an element of cowardice in the unacknowledged longing for change. Our prayers for direction are in form impartial betwixt the aye and no, but in spirit too often a request that we may have what we want. "Fiat voluntas Tua" [Thy will be done] is really on our lips, "Fiat voluntas Mea [my will be done]:" & the proof of this lies in the fact that while we are full of gratitude for the offers, we hardly suppress our chagrin at the refusals of opportunity. This chagrin is irrational and irreligious. The Psalmist's prayer for guidance is only then rightly and sincerely offered, when there is no arrière penseé of private ambition in the petitioner's mind. If it be difficult, perhaps impossible, for man to reach, & remain at, that level of faith & sincerity, at least it is possible to make an effort to rise, & to resist the temptation to complain when disappointment comes. So, at this juncture, when any morning may finally determine for me the refusal of this opportunity, I wd recognize the answer to my prayer: "Shew Thou me the way that I should walk in, for I lift up my soul unto Thee".

[30]

I preached in Birch parish church at the Holy Eucharist which, on the first Sunday of the month, is substituted for Mattins. The service was reverently read, & there were hymns & and a large number of communicants. My sermon had reference to the All Saints Festival, & was wholly religious. I lunched with the Bishop of Manchester & Mrs Knox. He is evidently very much distressed at the secession of his son Ronald, especially at his re–baptism. The Bishop had baptized the boy himself, so that there could not decently be any pretence of dubiety. I assume that the baptism was technically "conditional", but even so, it was no more than a profane mockery.

I embarked on a taxi, and directed the Jehu to take me to Birch Rectory, not knowing (& the Bishop forgetting) that there are two parishes called Birch, lying in opposite directions on the outer limits of Manchester. So I was driven to the wrong Birch, & had to turn back, & get to the right – a considerable waste of good time and bad petrol. I was escorted to the cathedral by an excellent man who volunteered for the privilege. There was an immense congregation, which filled every part of the building. My sermon was well listened to, but a choir–boy with a villainous cough disturbed me fearfully. I preached from Galatians v.1., my subject being "The Failure of Lutheranism, no disproof of the Reformation". Welldon, Scott, & even Conybeare, who was staying with Scott, expressed satisfaction. I went to supper with the Scotts, & there we had much & pleasant conversation. I motored back to Birch rectory, which I reached about 10.30 p.m. So ended a busy and fatiguing day.

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