The Henson Journals

[128]

Saturday, August 4th, 1917.

1097th day

I celebrated at 8 a.m., using the form issued by the Archbishops. Very few communicants, & I myself rather overwhelmed by the consciousness of my own failure. S. Paul's fear that "after having preached to others he himself should be rejected" was a feeble sentiment compared with the dread which clouds my own mind when I reflect on myself. "O give me the comfort of Thy help again: & stablish me with Thy free spirit."

Was the trial sore?

Temptation sharp? Thank God a second time!

Why comes temptation but for man to meet

And master and make crouch beneath his foot,

And so be pedestaled in triumph? Pray

"Lead us into no such temptations, Lord!"

Yea, but, O Thou whose servants are the bold,

Lead such temptations by the head and hair,

Reluctant dragons, up to who dares fight,

That so he may do battle and have praise!

I attended Mattins, and read some of the intercessions after the third collect. The editor of the local paper came to ask for my MS., & to explain that he lost money when I sent anything directly to the "Yorkshire Post"!!

The meeting in the Market–place was fairly successful. There was a considerable gathering, & the speeches were, I think, both audible & well–received. I spoke at more length than I had intended, but Lord Durham's absence rather emphasized my speech. On the fringe of the crowd I caught sight of George, beaming sympathetically.

I walked to the station, & met Ella arriving from Cheltenham. The train, timed to arrive at 6.23 p.m., was 20 minutes late. Hughes arrived from Blanchland to spend the week–end. After dinner I read the account of the immortal Chadband from 'Bleak House'.

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